my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
