Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
