people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
