May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
