new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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