The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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