I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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