The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
