somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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