well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
