Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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