You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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