he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
