oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize