K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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