1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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