that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Small penises have feelings too.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
