I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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