if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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