You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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