So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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