what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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