Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
