When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
