Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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