if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
