yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
