North Korea, Best Korea!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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