is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
