I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
