What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Randomize
