come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
