I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
