So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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