There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
