If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
