We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
