Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
