Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
