Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
