He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
