and you said cock pushups were impossible
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
