Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
