so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
