you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
