So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
