I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
