I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
