I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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