break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
